this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Randomize
