Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
