It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
