We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
