I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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