Are we in a gay sports bar?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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