Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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