Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
