this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...