I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Hippo gnu deer
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
