Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize