she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
