how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize