too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
