and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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