I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
