belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
