I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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