I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
