im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
