16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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