Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
