they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
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How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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