the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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