so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
