fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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