I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
