Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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