i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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