She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
