Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
