Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
