no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
