she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
