isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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