I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
