smell my finger.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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