I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
