at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
