Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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