I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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