dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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