Where is the hickey?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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