hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
