break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
