I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
