if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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