3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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