youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
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She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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