k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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