she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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