You work out of a Hotel?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
