Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
