Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up