I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away