nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
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If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
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I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.