Texts From Last Night

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  (434): View more from Virginia

  he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him

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  (434): he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him http://tfl.nu/rnup
  Replies (63) Good night (1590) Bad night (3830)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.

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  (775): I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie. http://tfl.nu/cht2
  Replies (53) Good night (9400) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.

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  (206): She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy. http://tfl.nu/ixzo
  Replies (35) Good night (829) Bad night (7194)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds

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  (412): I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds http://tfl.nu/2vvx
  Replies (32) Good night (1735) Bad night (15683)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.

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  (678): Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action. http://tfl.nu/m88z
  Replies (26) Good night (5700) Bad night (1868)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons

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  (970): I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons http://tfl.nu/vc4y
  Replies (10) Good night (1362) Bad night (2313)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Semen is not good for contacts.

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  (727): Semen is not good for contacts. http://tfl.nu/krg1
  Replies (10) Good night (1188) Bad night (3382)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."

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  (+27): She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga." http://tfl.nu/sbmz
  Replies (13) Good night (2045) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.

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  (509): This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it. http://tfl.nu/jpqq
  Replies (4) Good night (881) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you

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  (302): But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you http://tfl.nu/t5np
  Replies (12) Good night (1725) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet

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  (931): You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet http://tfl.nu/z0gl
  Replies (0) Good night (812) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.

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  (703): Today is an "outside sex" kind of day. http://tfl.nu/srl3
  Replies (3) Good night (937) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.

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  (609): My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault. http://tfl.nu/ck7y
  Replies (0) Good night (585) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?

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  (229): What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid? http://tfl.nu/caoi
  Replies (3) Good night (225) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!

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  (586): Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking! http://tfl.nu/monr
  Replies (5) Good night (374) Bad night (127)

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