that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
