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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  just tell him i said nine months

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  The brown eye won't let me do that either.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar

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• (863): View more from Florida

  I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.

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• (760): View more from California

  I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.

  (951): View more from California

  Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...

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