Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.