Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
naw, they were rude, not me.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I got inside last night via doggy door