Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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