please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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