Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he thought i was a dude.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
