the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize