theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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