my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
