I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I pour the whiskey from now on
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
