In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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